Being Big for Kids: Missing a Meeting

Being Big for Kids 2.0 (5)This is the seventh post in a series on being part of a Big Couple through Big Brothers Big Sisters. If you haven’t read the previous posts and would like more context, click here for an archive of the posts. 

Well it finally happened. We had to cancel a meeting with our Little. It wasn’t because our Little did anything wrong. It wasn’t because we did anything wrong. It wasn’t because we wanted to cancel the meeting.

That day, my husband had to work, and we had scheduled our meeting to start around 5:00-5:30. It also happened to be the birthday of my husband’s closest brother.

In the days leading up to that day, we had tried to get a strict time on when and where we would be celebrating his brother’s birthday to no avail.

Finally, the day of, we got word: it would be on the opposite side of town where our Little lived and it would be at about 6:45.

Knowing this was a school night, I had Daniel call our Little’s mother to check if a later meeting (around 8:30 for about an hour) would be okay. It was, so we decided to try both events.

Us at the birthday dinner. I'm on the right in the yellow next to my husband.
Us at the birthday dinner. I’m on the right in the yellow next to my husband with the hat. The rest are my in-laws, in-laws to be, and a family friend.

Unfortunately, it didn’t work out. Our waiter didn’t get our checks to us until 8:00 and they were all wrong, mixed up, and he had to re-do them (poor fellow, there were eight of us with several people paying together and wanting to pay for parts of the birthday boy’s meal).

We called our Little’s mom and apologized.

And that’s how our meeting got cancelled.

To be frank, it sucked. I was upset.

I thought back to when I was a kid (and to certain times present-day) and how I would have been devastated to be looking forward to something only to have it not happen.

I’m pretty empathetic, and it was easy to imagine what Ryan might have been going through. Best case scenario, he just brushed it off, but still, Daniel and I owe him a big, in-person apology.

Now, I want to figure out how to not let this happen again, and I’ll do it by doing one of the things I do best: analyzing.

Overall thoughts and lessons learned:

-Though we tried to think everything through and plot out how our evening would go, the world had other lessons for us to learn.

-We probably should have rescheduled our meeting with our Little right when we found out there might have been a conflict. Daniel doesn’t get to spend much time with his brother, so I knew he wouldn’t want to miss the get-together if he didn’t have to. But I was worried we might not have a whole lot of time the following week to reschedule our meeting, and I didn’t want to keep our Little waiting.

-Sometimes things happen and feelings get hurt, but open communication can help ease the hurt.

-Don’t be discouraged. Plan the next meeting, and keep going.

-Being a Big is not all sunshine and daisies. There are sometimes things that are going to happen that get in the way of spending time with your Little, and it’s not anything a Big wants to experience.

-Sometimes, there are conflicts with one’s BBBS family and with one’s biological family.

-Just be open with your Little’s family about what’s going on, and things should hopefully work out.

Are you (or have you been) part of the Big Brothers Big Sisters Program? Have you had to cancel a meeting or had a Big cancel a meeting? What was that like and how did you prevent it in the future?

Let me know in the comments below! 

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